Tag Archives: strong independant female

Ladies or Warriors?

06 Monday Feb 2017

Posted by in Fempire, Red Pill

≈ 94 Comments

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A post on a friend’s Facebook page caught my eye. Here’s the image:

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Now I am sure my friend just thought, “That’s right, you go guuuurl!” and re-posted it without much thought.  She likely didn’t mean any harm.

But let’s talk a closer look, and think more critically about the message in the image. (I was relieved to see the comments attached to the image did point much of this out, yay red pill commenters!)

First of all, the image has a “Mad Max” type feel. This is not an image of a little girl living in a safe and stable civilization. So that right there is not a good thing, as girls in such a situation would most likely be subjected to abuse, rape, kidnapping, and other horrible treatment in such a doomsday scenario.

Secondly, women are designed to bring life into the world, and to nurture and sustain life, not to take life. If this little girl were to die in battle, her tribe loses far more than if she was able to reach adulthood and help her tribe gain in number and strength.

There’s a red pill saying that, “sperm is cheap, eggs are expensive.”  What that means is that men are more “expendable” from a biological standpoint. One male can impregnate many women, carrying on his genetic lineage, while a female can only bear one child at a time, and at great personal risk and cost, especially in a scenario like the above where there likely would be no medical help!

Now, expendable is not the same as unnecessary or unimportant or optional. Men are certainly a key part of a functioning, safe society. Their natural role as provider and protector is a noble one. (As is the female role, as the giver of life.)

To die in battle for your tribe is indeed the highest sacrifice a man can make. Likewise, a female having children for her tribe is the highest sacrifice she can make. This is why females dying in battle is not a gain to the tribe, it is a huge loss.

This is true in many cases in the animal world as well. For example, I keep chickens. In a flock, the rooster is the only one who looks around and up for danger. The hens are completely oblivious, relying on him to sound the alarm if trouble approaches. When it does, the rooster will literally throw himself in the path of danger to allow the hens to escape safely back to the coop. I have had several roosters give their life in this way, trying to fight off a coyote or wayward dog. Interestingly, the hens (whose eggs are fertilized weeks before they are laid) will then immediately start a nest, I assume to replace the missing rooster they have just lost. It’s also important to note, without a rooster, the coyote or dog will kill the entire flock of hens, who do not even see it coming.

And finally, encouraging women to be fighters instead of lovers does not prepare them well for the role of wife or mother. Brash argumentative uppity women are unpleasant to be around, and struggle to maintain relationships. Not good for her, her mate, or her children! (Also note, being a lady has the exact opposite effect!)

Not that women can’t fight if needed, but it is usually not the go to. Even the strongest women have trouble holding their own against an average man. If it is down to women doing the fighting, things are very bad indeed!

In any case, while such images today are meant to “empower” women to be strong and self sufficient, under examination such thinking really isn’t in the best interest of anyone, including the little girls being told to “be a warrior!”

Let those who have ears hear.

What do you think? Please share in the comments!

 

 

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10 Surprising Things Guys Like in a Women

24 Monday Nov 2014

Posted by in Relationships

≈ 79 Comments

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In the past year or so that I have been lurking about the manosphere reading what men have to say about love, marriage, relationships, and women, I have learned some surprising things, like they wish women would:

1. Be pleasant: That sounds easy, right? But far too many men say it’s is really hard to find. Today, men say it’s far easier to find what they don’t like in a woman: sassy, gossipy, self-absorbed, nagging, bragging, adversarial, independent, argumentative, drama-driven, immodest, and immoral.

2. Ask About What He Likes: Many men say they feel like far too many women seem to think a relationship means everything and anything SHE wants. Guess what? He had feelings, wants, needs, and dreams, too! Ask about them. Then remember and do your best to implement them into your time together. From as small as what’s his favorite cookie? Meal? Drink? Ice cream? To planning a trip to a place he’s always wanted to go, these actions will lead to huge bonus points for you!

3. Be Loyal: Men like it when women have their back in public (even if you politely disagree later in private). Guys also say it’s very appealing to know you won’t run him down to others. And you would think it would go without saying, but lots of men say far too many gals leave them wondering if they could be faithful, or would cheat if they got the chance. Men are very loyal minded. Trust is big.

4. Look Pretty: Men are very visual. And they like when women look pretty. Yep. I am not making this up! Skirts, dresses, flattering jewelry, attractive hair and makeup, and other “girly” touches make a guy visually happy. Not that he doesn’t like “the natural you” but he likes “the feminine flair you,” too. And he notices. Not that it has to be over the top. Think Marianne, not Ginger.

5. Be Supportive: Men say they can’t resist those gals that act like a first mate, not ones who war for the captain’s chair. A relationship is you two against the world, not you two against each other. Yet, men say they aren’t looking for doormats, either. Being supportive of his career, goals, dreams, hobbies, and struggles will pay off for you both. Oh and have your own dreams and goals, too. Men like to hear about and help you achieve those, too.

6. Have Your Finances in Order: Guys say too many women they have met seem to spend every penny they have, and then some. Debt isn’t attractive. And men especially don’t like women who seem to have a get out of debt plan of, “Find Price Charming who will deal with it.” Um yeah, nope. A woman who has financial self-control shows good partner potential.

7. Show Don’t Tell: Women tend to verbalize what they are thinking and feeling much more than men do. A man would rather his gal show him how she feels about him by being affectionate, attentive, and kind than by talking about it for hours on end (while not noticing he’s awkwardly wondering how to escape!)

8. Keep It Simple: Women’s minds are always on the go. We enjoy talking out loud with our gal pals, dissecting our every emotion and experience, pondering all the possible options and outcomes, and breaking it all down. Guys? Not so much. Guys are more bottom line. When you REALLY want to make a point, keep it to 5 words or less.

9. Maintain Respect: It’s been said that if they had to choose between respect and love, they would choose respect. Women usually answer the opposite – love. Obviously both are important. But you will get a lot of “street cred” with a guy by showing him respect, and especially keeping your emotional cool during heated moments. Focus on resolving the issue, not attacking his character.

10. Love Him True: Even some of the most gruff guys in the manosphere show a soft side when they talk about love. Men love with a devotion that few women can fathom, it is so different from our own feeling-based love. They say once a man loves a woman, he makes that choice and then will love her forever after unless she actively takes steps to destroy that bond. (And yes, his heart can hurt badly too, so be gentle with it.)

They don’t really sound all that hard to do, nor are they really anything new, buy guys say these traits are extremely hard to find in a woman, yet highly attractive. Why not adopt these irresistible habits?

Let those who have ears hear. And please feel free to add your own thoughts in the comments. Have I left anything out?

Love is a Verb

11 Monday Aug 2014

Posted by in Relationships

≈ 15 Comments

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Ladies, do you know anyone (maybe yourself) who is in a loveless marriage or relationship?

A comment on a message board by a man whose first marriage failed but his second marriage is thriving because he “games” his wife got me thinking, maybe a lot of relationships flop because people (both men and women) make the mistake of thinking once a commitment is made, wooing, or even just downright good behavior, is no longer necessary?

As I think about the couples I know who are struggling, as well as reflecting back on my own marriage and another serious LTR that eventually failed, in many cases it’s because of that fatal flaw — one or both partners think they now have a “get out of effort free” card. All that effort they spent wooing their mate gets redirected toward other areas in life, instead.

It is a lot of work to attract a partner, as anyone in the dating market can surely attest. I can see why it might be tempting to think all that effort isn’t needed once a relationship is solidified. But I think the opposite is true — couples should never stop dating, never stop wooing his or her mate.

That said, it doesn’t have to be expensive or elaborate. It really doesn’t take much effort at all to show someone (not just tell them) that they are special, and in fact your very most special someone. An unexpected note in their vehicle wishing them a great day, their very favorite meal made on a non-special occasion, surprising him in lingerie, sending him a racy text while he is on lunch break from work, none of these things require huge financial investment or an extraordinary amount of time, and yet these small gestures can pay off big time.

One SAHM (stay at home mom) I know, who is unhappily married, has admittedly gotten lost in her four children. She puts them and their needs on a pedestal yet doesn’t see the need to do so for her spouse. They have not once gone on a date or weekend away without the kids, much less an extended vacation. She dotes on her children and yet voices outrage that her husband dares voice he’d at least like to be on par with the kids (and really, imho he should come FIRST, not last.) She admits to rarely having sex, and even then in this begrudging “just get it over with” way. Blech.

And while I don’t know both sides of the story, the behavior she moans about, him not being happy, his snippy attitude, his not putting in effort in the bedroom, his not caring about her happiness, I wonder how much of that is a result of her lack of investment? How much is really tit for tat?

But instead of seeing that, she continues to blame HIM rather than to take a proactive approach. He should be prince charming to her princess. When I gently urge her to try making a fuss over him, telling him how much she appreciates his sacrifices (like working a job that requires hard physical labor in extreme heat and cold and miserable conditions, daily, for the past 10+ years so she could be at home with the kids), making the moves on him, or scheduling a date or weekend away, she looks at me like I have gone mad! What? I am supposed to be sympathizing with her, not the enemy!

But I refuse to do it. Because I made the same mistakes in my marriage, and I am now a single mom, and while she thinks I have all this freedom and a glamorous lifestyle of excitement and fun, in reality I know firsthand the grass isn’t greener. It’s not easier to be a single mom than a married one, by a long shot. Trust me on this.

She seems to on one hand be quite distressed that her marriage is so unhappy yet stubbornly wants her husband to take the first steps to make things right. But in the end, in all areas of life, relationships included, you get out what you put in.

And in the end, what is she risking? A little effort needed to stoke the fires of romance and breathe new life into her marriage? The risk that it might not work? Yes, that risk is there. But there’s also the very real possibility that instead of being in an unhappy marriage, she could find herself (and her children) in a happy one. That opportunity is within her grasp. But not if she doesn’t change her attitude.

Love is a verb. Never stop loving your mate. Like a lifetime of slow, small, steady investments, it will likely pay off big time in the end over a lifetime of haphazard big investments of love on the expected anniversaries and holidays and then long stretches without in between.

Let those who have ears hear.

On Mice and Men

07 Wednesday May 2014

Posted by in Fempire

≈ 7 Comments

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There are times when this whole post-feminine world and being taught my whole life that “You don’t need a man” all comes crashing down and I find myself eating humble pie and wishing I indeed did have a man. That I would trade all the fish and the bicycles in the world for one good man.

Today is one of those days.

It’s a small thing, but it represents a much bigger thing. I am sitting here typing this because even though the sun is shining and I really need to get the grass mowed before it is a jungle, I can’t get the darn mower started.

It all began a few days ago when my older daughter expressed interest in learning to drive the riding lawnmower I use to mow my little 5-acre slice of heaven. However, as mowing takes nearly 4 hours and this time of year has to be done nearly every three days, I cannot express how excited I was to hear my daughter say this.

And so she did, and then she ran the mower out of gas. And I didn’t think to turn off the key.

The next day when I hop on the mower to finish the job before the weekend (I run a small business on my property as well, and it looking presentable every weekend is important.) and — nothing. Not even click, click, click.

So there I am, nearly completely devoid of mechanical skills or knowledge, knowing the problem likely is that the battery is dead, but having no idea what to do about it.

So I make some phone calls. It takes awhile to figure out if the battery is a 12 volt or a 6 volt and if I can jump start it with my car, or not. “Don’t just guess. It could blow up,” I am warned. Yikes. Finally it is determined the battery is a 12 volt and I could jump start it with my car (gulp, I have done this once before, with supervision.)

Ok, so I go to get my car and jumper cables only to discover one of the cable ends is frayed and about to fall off. Great.

Next I am told to take the battery out, with a crescent wrench. Ummm, which one is that again? A crescent wrench. Hummmm.

(Ok here I can just imagine the mocking from “modern” women who can identify a crescent wrench and know how to jump start a battery, or even rebuild an engine. Good for you. I am happy for you. I actually have tried to learn these things too, in my former progressive days, and failed. It just doesn’t stick. I was one of only two girls in my high school auto shop class. So there. I am no wussy. I can do many things, but fix mechanical things is not one of them.)

I should mention that this is the happening on the last dry or sunny day in the forecast that week, so “doing it tomorrow” isn’t an option. Getting it done before the weekend is also a dwindling option.

So, the rain begins. I ignore the issue for a few days. Then I start thinking again about how I need to get my mower going. I make some more calls. After being asked a few times if I had a jump box, I decide that living on a small farm, maybe I need one. I can be a self-sufficient woman then. My jump box will save me!

So $99 and a trip to town later, I have one. I pull it out of the box, plug it in, and let it charge overnight.

Just now, I tried to jump start the mower. I read the (always poorly written, who writes these things?) directions. Hummm. Ok, I don’t completely understand, but I am going to dive in. I hook the jump box up (please don’t explode or shock me) and try to start the mower. Click, click, click. Ok, that’s something. But now what? Do I leave it sit there for awhile? Is it not strong enough to jump it? Is it not hooked up right? I wait a minute. I try again. Click, click, click.

I unhook the jump box and bring it inside.

And then I see them. Mouse droppings near the bag of cat food in the garage. Great. Now I have to learn how to kill mice, too. Lucky me!

And I have a good, hard, long cry. I don’t want to do this alone, anymore. I really don’t.

(I rarely cry, I am not a woman who cries at the drop of the hat, just in case anyone is thinking I am “just being a crybaby girl” about all this.)

And then I think of this blog post, and how at the time I didn’t get it or agree, and how maybe now, I am willing to admit the author is onto something.

Women, hear my words: Men make life easier in so many ways, ways you don’t even likely know, because they don’t brag about it, almost invisibly taking care of these little unpleasantries of life, things you don’t even notice or worry about, until you have to face these things yourself, without a man.

And a man is pretty darn nice to snuggle up with at night, too. If you have one, take good care of him.

Let those who have ears hear.