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Notes From a Red Pill Girl

~ A site for women interested in a red pill perspective (where men are welcome too!)

Notes From a Red Pill Girl

Tag Archives: trust

Verify Then Trust

22 Thursday Mar 2018

Posted by redpillgirlnotes in Red Pill, Relationships

≈ 44 Comments

Tags

boundries, dating, marriage, red pill, relationships, risk, self-preservation, trust, truth

Long ago, a noted manosphereain gave me this good advice when evaluating new love or other more platonic interests (like new friends, coworkers, and such): Verify then trust.

In other words, give things some time, slow it down intentionally, let people show you who they are. People may be able to sustain their best behavior for a short time, but if they have ill intent, they will simply bounce to an easier mark than prove up.

People who do have good intent will not even question you verifying it. They have nothing to lose, there is no act. It would not even occur to them.

People who question it or try to make you feel bad about it — no matter how many sad stories of being the innocent wronged they can tell to justify this  (Red flag right there! Never wrong? Always wronged? Time and again? Really???) beware.  Reasonable and good boundaries avoid problems, they don’t create them. If someone has problems with such, take it as a sign.

Verify THEN trust. Not trust THEN verify. Good advice for anyone navigating life. It will never do you wrong, and it can head off all sorts of trouble.

What do you think? Please share in the comments.

Facebook Follies

27 Wednesday Dec 2017

Posted by redpillgirlnotes in Relationships

≈ 22 Comments

Tags

breaking up, breakup, breakups, Facebook, jealousy, marriage, online dating, online stalking, social media, trust

Several couples I know in real life with a lot of strife in their relationships would do well to step away from Facebook and other forms of social media.

Why? Because in their cases rather than it being a place to truly check in on the latest from family and friends it has instead become a place to monitor the every friend, follow, and like of their beloved.

I know it may sound silly, but I truly have seen and heard spats over the most innocuous things.

I keep wondering why these people don’t simply COMMUNICATE with each other, rather than try to read the tea leaves of likes, posts, check ins and such. I mean I suppose one could like Sherlock Homes catch their partner red handed in some lie (why were you checking in at the club at 1 am when you said you were going home?) but why? I mean if you even have to have ask that type of question, isn’t that your answer?

I am sure most of these behaviors come from a place of insecurity, but to me they just come across as nails in the coffin — bad experiences rather than positive ones, accusations that will lead to less disclosure, not more.

If you find yourself Facebook stalking — stop! Stop and ask yourself why, what you are trying to find out, and if the skepticism is healthy self-protection or a warning sign of major troubles ahead.

Let those with ears hear.

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