A commenter suggested a really good resource that explains the concept of Nice Guy Syndrome and explains why in the SMP and MMP, nice guys finish last.
Please visit the link above for the whole scoop, but in short (from the website):
“Who is a Nice Guy?
- He is the relative who lets his wife run the show.
- He is the friend who will do anything for anybody, but whose own life seems to be in shambles.
- He is the guy who frustrates his wife because he is so afraid of conflict that nothing ever gets resolved.
- He is the boss who tells one person what they want to hear, then reverses himself to please someone else.
- He is the man who lets people walk all over him because he doesn’t want to rock the boat.
- He is the dependable guy at work who will never say “no,” but would never tell anyone if they were imposing on him.
- He is the man whose life seems so under control, until BOOM, one day he does something to destroy it all.
Characteristics of Nice Guys
- Nice guys seek the approval of others.
- Nice guys try to hide their perceived flaws and mistakes.
- Nice guys put other people’s needs and wants before their own.
- Nice guys sacrifice their personal power and often play the role of a victim.
- Nice guys tend to be disconnected from other men and from their own masculine energy.
- Nice guys co-create relationships that are less than satisfying.
- Nice guys create situations in which they do not have very much good sex.
- Nice guys frequently fail to live up to their full potential.”
I think this information could help a lot of guys who have been taught, “Be nice and the girls will like you,” only to find out it does not work that way. Rather than the usual PUA advice, I think this route may work better for guys who don’t want to become a cad, but could use some tips for breaking free of being, “too nice.”
What do you think? Please share in the comments!