Thoughts on Gender Benders


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Over the past few years, the idea that gender is something one chooses rather than is has been increasingly directed at some of our society’s most vulnerable and impressionable — children.

Parents and caregivers are encouraging it. The media is encouraging it. Even public schools are teaching transgenderism (a.k.a. It’s a choice if you are a boy or a girl or one of the many other possible “gender identities”) in some states. But the American Academy of Pediatrics has drawn a line — they say such teachings are CHILD ABUSE. Here are their 8 reasons why. They say:

1. Human sexuality is an objective biological binary trait: “XY” and “XX” are genetic markers of health – not genetic markers of a disorder.

2. No one is born with a gender. Everyone is born with a biological sex. Gender (an awareness and sense of oneself as male or female) is a sociological and psychological concept; not an objective biological one.

3. A person’s belief that he or she is something they are not is, at best, a sign of confused thinking. When an otherwise healthy biological boy believes he is a girl, or an otherwise healthy biological girl believes she is a boy, an objective psychological problem exists that lies in the mind not the body, and it should be treated as such.

4. Puberty is not a disease and puberty-blocking hormones can be dangerous. Reversible or not, puberty-blocking hormones induce a state of disease – the absence of puberty – and inhibit growth and fertility in a previously biologically healthy child.

5. According to the DSM-V, as many as 98% of gender confused boys and 88% of gender confused girls eventually accept their biological sex after naturally passing through puberty.

6. Children who use puberty blockers to impersonate the opposite sex will require cross-sex hormones in late adolescence. Cross-sex hormones (testosterone and estrogen) are associated with dangerous health risks including but not limited to high blood pressure, blood clots, stroke and cancer.

7. Rates of suicide are twenty times greater among adults who use cross-sex hormones and undergo sex reassignment surgery, even in Sweden which is among the most LGBQT – affirming countries.

8. Conditioning children into believing a lifetime of chemical and surgical impersonation of the opposite sex is normal and healthful as child abuse.

I have never felt conflicted or torn about being biologically and socially a female. So I will admit, it is hard for me to relate to someone feeling they are not the sex they were born. And I am sure there are relatively rare cases (.003%) where it truly is the case, such as in people who were born hermaphrodites and whose parents choose at birth their gender, and choose wrong.

But otherwise, from the minute sperm meets egg, people are XX or XY. And that same XX or XY data replicates, along with the rest of their DNA, in every single cell of their body.

It’s not good or bad to be a boy. It’s not good or bad to be a girl. It simply is what it is. IMHO, it isn’t a choice. Actually it seems masochistic and self-loathing to fight it. There are lots of things we can choose about being who we are. I say better to focus on those, rather than spend energy on wanting to change something one cannot —  your own biological reality. Even after surgery, hormones, and other measures — you’ll never change your cellular reality of XX or XY.

What do you think? Please share in the comments.


The Wide and Narrow Gates


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There is a passage in scripture that talks about the wide and narrow gates. And whether you are a religious person or not, I do believe the concept offers good advice on living your life well.

Most people go for the wide gate. It’s easy, everyone else is doing it, and when you do so you are in the majority. The wide gate is like a big tent, anything goes, nobody judges, and the standards are low (or nonexistent.)

Few choose the narrow gate. The narrow gate asks one to rise above their basest natures and desires and to forgo short term pleasures and ease for a long term vision aligned with Truth and doing the right thing simply because it is the right thing to do.

At first glance there are few drawbacks to the wide gate, and many to the narrow one.

But in reality the wide gate is the path of pain, disappointment, betrayal, anguish, drama, and loss — not only in some life-after-death way, but also very much in the here and now.

The narrow gate, at first glance costly, actually is protection against pain, loss, betrayal, hurt, deception, and the like. Today, in this life, right now. It is the path of wisdom, the path of self-love.

I have watched many friends take the wide path in “love” and to end up suffering horribly for it. Men who used them. Men who lied to them. Men who cheated on them. Men who gave them lifelong illnesses. It seems only in movies and fairy tales that the wide path leads to true love and happiness.

Taking the narrow path may mean not dating as much, sitting home on Saturday nights, even being made fun of for not doing what everyone else is doing. But in the long run, all that is a small price to pay for having standards that will lead to true and lasting love and happiness.

As I wrote before, bake cookies. Be that girl. And once you find love, stay on the narrow path. That would be my advice.

Let those who have ears hear!


Welcome to Waaa-Merica?


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Maybe it is just me, but is anyone else sick and tired of this seemingly endless back and forth about the long over and done election?

Donald Trump was legally elected president. The next opportunity to elect a president is in 2020. Can we MOVE ON???

Like it or not, just like every other president he has the right to choose a cabinet, set an agenda, determine priorities, and do his best to keep his campaign promises to those who voted for him. Which he is doing at an amazing rate and despite much resistance, btw.

Rather than temper tantrum meltdowns, how about we be happy we have a stable secure government that works, with peaceful transitions of power, checks and balances on govt., a legal system not based on bribery and extortion, freedom and opportunity for those willing to work for it, and more prosperity than most people on the planet?

We must seem like the most spoiled, entitled, self-absorbed, first world problem focused nation on earth! Frankly, it is embarrassing.

For all our blessings, all many seem to be able to do is complain that they deserve “more.” How about being part of the solution, not part of the problem? How about giving as much (or more!) than you are taking?

Maybe it is pre-menopause speaking here, but I am really having to restrain myself from not saying this sort of thing out loud and in person pretty much daily to those I encounter complaining about “the system.”

Count your blessings. That’s what I would recommend. Be positive. Look toward the future. Try to make the things you see wrong better.

It is amazing that for the supposedly most intelligent species on the planet, we never seem to learn from history. Look back in time and all the once mighty cultures fell not in their struggle but at their peak. Somehow rather than evolving the easier things get, people seem hell bent on devolving to their basest natures.

What’s next? Feeding Christians to the lions for sport? Burning folks at the stake based on mere allegations? The worst of our nature rising rather than the best of it shining?

I hope not. Wake up people, before it is too late and you only tell tales to your offspring of the wonders of running water, electricity, and a functioning society.

Let those who have ears hear.

Be Mine, Valentine


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Today I happened to be walking out of a store at the same time the local high school was getting out. I saw multiple teen boys with bouquets of flowers in hand, obviously headed off to present them to someone.

They looked so young, so hopeful, so eager. I hope the gals the flowers will go to will be gentle with their hearts and realize it’s an honor when a man asks her to, “Be mine, Valentine.”

I have heard many men in the manosphere say they never loved again like they loved their first love. And for some whose first love broke their heart, the recovery can take years, if ever.

Ladies, if you have a man bringing your flowers today, be good and true to him!  In turn, he will gladly move mountains for you!

Let those with ears hear.

Head Games Don’t Pay Off


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I have written about my former neighbor I nicknamed Vixen before more than once. Last time I wrote about her she was about to have a baby, and was torn between the dad who wouldn’t commit and the beta orbiter who would.

The baby is now almost 10 months old and sure is a cute little guy! He has a very even temperament and is the “easy baby” all moms hope for. I think God knew what she could handle, and cut her a lot of slack!

She still continues to waffle between the two choices, never fully committing or detaching from either one. So things continue to be a cluster.

The other night I had a little red pill heart to heart with her, and explained that a big reasons she (and her kids) are in the situation she’s in is due to her fence sitting. In classic projection she’s the one who is really unwilling to commit to either path 100%, not them, and the longer it goes on the more damage is being done.

Honestly I am surprised they both have not given up on her by now, but from what I see both guys are willing to commit to her *IF* she would commit to them. But she can’t decide, and that is the problem.

The baby’s father has a great job but it is and always has been in a different state. He comes home frequently, but as he has explained to her multiple times if he were to take a job closer to home, he’d be taking a 2/3 pay cut as well.

He’s got an Alpha temperament and so the more she tries to bend him to her will, the more distance he puts between them. I have met him and seen them interact and she constantly “shit tests” him whenever he comes home for the weekend. His reaction? He doesn’t want to be around her, and so he leaves.

As I watched her once again bring up the tired old, “We wouldn’t fight if you were here, it’s your job that is the problem,” yada yada last time he visited, I could not help but interrupt, “Haven’t we had this fight already?” (Not to mention in front of myself and the kids!)

He’s made it pretty clear he is more than willing to pay her rent and commit to her *if* she will stop the nagging and fighting and would drop the orbiter. And yet she just can’t seem to stop herself, even when it leads to him breaking things off and dating other women for awhile, which he has done. He’s a good guy but he simply is not going to tolerate her behavior.

Her beta orbiter is also a great guy. But she says as much as she wishes she felt “tingles” with him, she doesn’t. He’s too available, too ready to run to her aid, too willing to put up with her nonsense. It kills  her attraction but he just can’t seem to stop himself. He’s holding on in hopes that he will be the last guy standing in the end.

During our red pill talk I asked her which one she wanted. She said the baby’s father, ideally, which I also agree now that baby is here and he is willing if she can learn to curb her tongue. But I explained to her he would never be all in unless she was too. And that means cutting off the beta orbiter and his “help” 100% completely. And of course all other potential orbiters or relationships with single men who are attracted to her.

I also pointed out that her behavior was driving him away, and that rather than fight with him every time he comes to town, maybe she should welcome him, make a fuss, treat him like a king, and not complain. Make her place somewhere he can’t wait to get to rather than run away from.

He’s got the opportunity to transfer to an equal job here within the next six months.  So I suggested she spend the next six months cementing the relationship than continue to play foolish games. Cut off the other guy completely in the meantime, as his involvement and help only makes things more confusing. She simply can’t have both. She agreed it made sense.

Then, this weekend, just two days after our talk she spent most of her time with guess who? The beta orbiter. Ug!

I didn’t say anything, but she knows what I think. She’s playing with fire and it’s going to end up with her and her kids getting burned I am afraid.

She has taken note of my own long distance relationship, also due to work constraints. Rather than fight with him and make it an issue, I patiently wait because I realize it is in both of our best interest he ride out the next few years to get a full retirement that will be a huge benefit to us both! In the meantime we are in frequent contact, never fight, and see each other as often as his leave time allows. On weekends I stay home and I stay away from “friendships” with single guys because I don’t want him to even have to question where I stand. I have chosen him and that’s that. I do all I can to prove I am a good bet rather than play games and try to make him prove himself to me! He’s all in, but I know he would not be if I were not, too! (And I respect that!)

The bottom line is men don’t share. They just don’t. And men don’t like a bunch of drama either. Her own behavior is why she is single and has a commitment from nobody, while meanwhile I don’t have a care in the world and all is swell! I know she’s watching how I am handling my own situation differently, and I hope it will click for her, although honestly there’s already a LOT of damage done in the last 2-3 years she’s played games. I don’t see how either relationship could ever be what it fully could have been had she not played games. I wonder if she will ever get that?

What do you think? Have you ever seen a woman try to run a relationship as if she is an Alpha male? Except she isn’t, so the plate spinning and jealousy does not work in her favor? Please share your thoughts in the comments.

(Personally I think both guys should RUN!!! But softie that I am, I still hope for her, her kid’s, and the guys sake she will figure it out before they do.)

Let those who have ears hear.




Ladies or Warriors?


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A post on a friend’s Facebook page caught my eye. Here’s the image:


Now I am sure my friend just thought, “That’s right, you go guuuurl!” and re-posted it without much thought.  She likely didn’t mean any harm.

But let’s talk a closer look, and think more critically about the message in the image. (I was relieved to see the comments attached to the image did point much of this out, yay red pill commenters!)

First of all, the image has a “Mad Max” type feel. This is not an image of a little girl living in a safe and stable civilization. So that right there is not a good thing, as girls in such a situation would most likely be subjected to abuse, rape, kidnapping, and other horrible treatment in such a doomsday scenario.

Secondly, women are designed to bring life into the world, and to nurture and sustain life, not to take life. If this little girl were to die in battle, her tribe loses far more than if she was able to reach adulthood and help her tribe gain in number and strength.

There’s a red pill saying that, “sperm is cheap, eggs are expensive.”  What that means is that men are more “expendable” from a biological standpoint. One male can impregnate many women, carrying on his genetic lineage, while a female can only bear one child at a time, and at great personal risk and cost, especially in a scenario like the above where there likely would be no medical help!

Now, expendable is not the same as unnecessary or unimportant or optional. Men are certainly a key part of a functioning, safe society. Their natural role as provider and protector is a noble one. (As is the female role, as the giver of life.)

To die in battle for your tribe is indeed the highest sacrifice a man can make. Likewise, a female having children for her tribe is the highest sacrifice she can make. This is why females dying in battle is not a gain to the tribe, it is a huge loss.

This is true in many cases in the animal world as well. For example, I keep chickens. In a flock, the rooster is the only one who looks around and up for danger. The hens are completely oblivious, relying on him to sound the alarm if trouble approaches. When it does, the rooster will literally throw himself in the path of danger to allow the hens to escape safely back to the coop. I have had several roosters give their life in this way, trying to fight off a coyote or wayward dog. Interestingly, the hens (whose eggs are fertilized weeks before they are laid) will then immediately start a nest, I assume to replace the missing rooster they have just lost. It’s also important to note, without a rooster, the coyote or dog will kill the entire flock of hens, who do not even see it coming.

And finally, encouraging women to be fighters instead of lovers does not prepare them well for the role of wife or mother. Brash argumentative uppity women are unpleasant to be around, and struggle to maintain relationships. Not good for her, her mate, or her children! (Also note, being a lady has the exact opposite effect!)

Not that women can’t fight if needed, but it is usually not the go to. Even the strongest women have trouble holding their own against an average man. If it is down to women doing the fighting, things are very bad indeed!

In any case, while such images today are meant to “empower” women to be strong and self sufficient, under examination such thinking really isn’t in the best interest of anyone, including the little girls being told to “be a warrior!”

Let those who have ears hear.

What do you think? Please share in the comments!



Residual Blue Pill Programming


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Even as much as I have learned and grown over the past several years since discovering the red pill, there are still times where I realize the old residual blue pill programming still pops up in my thinking from time to time.

For example, I was following a conversation elsewhere and made the remark that it would be great if our new president took up for men’s rights.

A red piller soon pushed back that no, men did not need the government to give them men’s rights, doing so would be just as much BS as women’s rights. Instead he pointed out the government should stay out of it.

Do rights come from within, or without? Oooommmm. Wow. Mind opening moment. Hard to put into words.

I wholeheartedly agreed, thanked him for the comment, and apologized for the bad phrasing. I admitted I still have blue pill programming here and there.

“That’s OK,” he said. “It will go away with time!” Lol.

Let those who have ears hear.

What do you think? Do you have any residual blue pill beliefs still lurking about?

Everything Old is New Again?


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Perhaps I am just engaging in wishful thinking, but from what I see, it seems as a culture we’ve pushed the “modem, equal, single, independent woman” thing about as far as it can go. And it’s not working as described. So my hope is soon there will be the inevitable swing back to more traditional values perhaps with a red pill twist.

I think while many blue pill/modern women would misunderstand the idea if presented all at once (OMG, what are you going to do lock me up and take away all my rights?), I do think people are dissatisfied enough with the way things are going that they are starting to seek out answers.

And the older I get, the more I see there is wisdom in the old ways, in tradition, in men being men and women being women. And perhaps now that these “old ways” have been out of fashion for so long, people will be able to see them in a new light.

It’s kind of like the organic farming movement. On both sides my grandparents were farmers. They farmed organically but they didn’t think of it as “organic” it was just the way things had always been done. And for the most part it worked. It was hard work, but manageable on a daily basis, and they had more free time than many people do today, fewer worries, and a quiet but comfortable life.

They drank fresh raw milk, made butter, raised their own beef, pork, and poultry without antibiotics or growth hormones. They raised and canned or froze enough produce to easily eat well through the winter. It was like a hipster’s clean eating, free range, humane, organic dream come true! I am sure my grandparents would be surprised to hear people will pay $25 for one chicken raised the way all their chickens were! The only things I can remember my grandparents buying from the store were things they could not produce themselves: sugar, peanut butter, coffee, and a few other staples.

During the depression my grandmother says while they did not have money to spend on extras, they ate just as well and for the most part life really wasn’t that much different on the farm before, during, or after the depression. In fact my grandmother would fret about those living in cities, wondering what they would do if another depression hit? If they could not or did not know how to grow their own food and had to buy it all, she saw this would be a real hardship.

I hope that traditional male and female relationship dynamics, like my grandparents had, will become as trendy and hip as organic free range foods are today. Considered a “premium” in fact!

Dare to dream. I know some who are already living that way even if the rest of the world is not, and they are among the happiest people I know, with little stress, drama, worry, or strife.

Let those who have ears hear.

What do you think? Please share in the comments.

Be a Class Act


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Remember when it was considered a GOOD thing to act like a lady?

Apparently these days the feral woman is more the cultural standard, and IMHO it is a real loss.

My advice is to not sink to the level of the average woman, but rise above and be a class act. Not only will you stand out among the shrieking masses of hysterical women shouting expletives right in front of small children, you’ll also be taking a small personal stand for decency.

And when other women act like they have been raised on the streets, please join me in calling them out (constructively) on their bad behavior. Somebody has to! And let’s face it, these women are not going to listen to anything a man has to say.

I know it is like trying to fight the tide, but a civilization without civility just doesn’t work.

Let those who have ears hear.

Have some stories of women behaving well or badly to share? Please add them in the comments!


Build Up Your House


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There’s a proverb that I think every woman should know and use as a guiding principle in life. It goes:

“A wise woman builds her home, but a foolish woman tears it down with her own hands.” ~ Proverbs 14.1

I have known many women who behave and believe in ways that foolishly tear down their homes, and sadly I have only known a few who work hard to build their homes up.

A few examples of tearing down one’s home include engaging in “husband bashing sessions” with other women, spending recklessly, threatening your spouse that you will leave or divorce them during arguments, allowing people in your life who bad talk your marriage, continually bringing up past grievances, calling names or fighting dirty rather than focusing on resolving issues, putting other things or people (friends, money, career, hobbies, etc.) in front of your family, having one foot in your marriage and one foot out the door, spending time around other men who you are attracted to or who are attracted to you, and more.

I am sure if you think about the women you know or have seen on TV or in movies, you could easily come up with many examples of women tearing down their homes with their own hands. There are few, if any, of women taking steps to build their homes up.

In fact, it seems women get far more support and encouragement today to LEAVE their marriages, than to work things out. But the wisdom and truth of this proverb has not changed.

As you go about your day, making decisions small and large, ask yourself, “Is this building my home up, or tearing it down?” Or, if you are unmarried, ask, “Is this building toward my plans for a future successful relationship, or not?”

A wise woman asks herself these questions, while a foolish one ignores them.

Let those who have ears hear.

Can you think of ways a woman could build up her house? Tear it down? Please share them in the comments!