Name One Good Thing

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OK  guys — New Year, time to switch things up a bit so let’s do something different — instead of calling out the many things that are not so good these days, how about we each name at least one GOOD thing big or small, silly or serious, yin or yang, but whatever it is, something GOOD about your day, your life, the world, whatever! Go!

Ok I will start — preying mantis. Talk about cool! There was one on my porch the other day (they are not so common here, and especially in winter) and it looked at me and I looked at it, and I pointed it out to my daughters, and then they looked at it and it looked at them and I wasn’t sure who was watching who. If you have never seen one in real life, they are probably the closest thing to an alien I can think of and they seem to be almost zen in touch with the world, all knowing. And who knows — maybe they have it figured out better than an we do! And they eat bad bugs. That’s good, too! (And, I had forgotten but it’s true the female sometimes eats the male after mating, that is not good and was not why I choose this example! Sorry!)

This video shows another side to them we did not see that day, apparently they are little bada$$es! Who knew! See for yourself (I think even the Ton would think it’s good!)

Ok your turn! Please share in the comments. You are by no means limited to one good thing. Feel free to name as many as you want!

Can’t be black pill all the time, or even red pill, right?!? Lol!

Go! If you usually read but don’t post, I double dog dare you to add a good thing to the mix, too!

💕❤️💕❤️💕❤️💕❤️💕❤️💕❤️💕❤️💕

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Wandering Through Smoking Wreckage

Not long after I stumbled upon the manosphere and the Red Pill, a (rather dour tbh) regular of the blog I frequented at the time said something that really stuck with me.

“We are all just wandering through the smoking wreckage.”

Yep.We may not have detonated the bomb, or had any say in the plan way back when, but here we are today, now almost 50 years later, wandering through the smoking wreckage.

The idyllic past is gone, if it ever existed,  anyway. The present is a s#itshow, pardon my language. And so? Now that we find ourselves here, now, like it or not, what next?

Well there are really three choices. Denial. Nihilism. Or facing and making some personal best of the tactical reality on the ground. Ok, choice four is some version of self-destruction, but I would not suggest it. So let’s just cross that option off the list.

Maybe you had a perfect childhood. Maybe not. Maybe you have the lucky golden path. If you are reading this my guess is you (like 98% of us) did not. And even if you had both, it still might not be working out. Welcome to here, now. And so?

Chances are you can’t change it much, really, on a scale larger than yourself. Maybe you can but probably not really. Or not because that was your main goal.

The opportunities are in the margins, as they say. So rather than trying to fix anyone else much less the world, maybe just start by making something out of the smoking wreckage for you and yours.

What that will look like is highly individual, but it probably involves some version of what worked for centuries before the “modern way” and your own personal situation.

For some it may be going your own way. For others it may mean some form of long term commitment on whatever terms (legally committed, or committed without legal terms, or something inbetween.) For others, it may be something that others don’t understand but that works for those involved. Obviously there are more possible scenarios than I can ever name here. You know your own situation, limits, negotiables and and non-negotiables better than me.

In short: accept the past path is gone, feel free to reject the current path that’s got a 50/50 chance at best, and sift through and build the best version of tomorrow for your situation as you can, from among the smoking wreckage and options realistically available, based upon your personal pros and cons.

Speaking of, if your personal situation is more con than pro, start there. Nobody can fix you or save you. Take responsibility for your own stuff. Figure out what hasn’t worked and why and what parts of that are yours and yours to change.  Understand. Make those changes. Be what you yourself would expect from others. Don’t expect it all but bring little to none to the table.

Its true that despite all that, things may not work out as you hoped or planned. But doing more than 80% of others are surely can’t hurt your odds of crafting a life versus blindly and naively hoping for the best.

There’s not much among the smoking wreckage to work with, true. But at least if you know what it is you are trying to achieve and then are actually, actively, and ongoingly taking steps to get there it has got to lead to better odds than dumb luck or random chance. Or in the very least will help you avoid what you absolutely don’t want.

It’s far from ideal, it’s true. But it is what it is. Accepting that and then making the best of it as you can based on the options available and within your control is really the only viable path I can see. Rebuilding from rubble isn’t ideal or easy. But if it’s rubble you’ve got, and sticking with that isn’t what you want, what other options do you have? Start sifting and build what you can, or forget building and accept your choice without blame or bitterness.

What do you think? Please share in the comments!

 

 

 

Hypergamy, to Music

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Happy New Year, everyone!!!

And now to celebrate, a new post!

Tonight a song came on the radio I had forgotten about, but as it played I realized it was hypergamy right out there, long before the Internet or the manosphere or the Red Pill.

For best effect, play the video while you read along with the lyrics: (Note the plausible deniability worked into the video storyline… as well as the, “SIW you-go-girl!!! Just like a guy, they do it, too — equality!” last verse — can’t be too obvious, right?!?)

Material Girl

by Madonna

[Verse 1]
Some boys kiss me, some boys hug me
I think they’re okay
If they don’t give me proper credit, I just walk away
They can beg and they can plead
But they can’t see the light, that’s right
‘Cause the boy with the cold hard cash is always Mister Right

[Chorus]
‘Cause we are living in a material world
And I am a material girl

You know that we are living in a material world
And I am a material girl

[Verse 2]
Some boys romance, some boys slow dance
That’s all right with me
If they can’t raise my interest, then I have to let them be
Some boys try, and some boys lie
But I don’t let them play, no way
Only boys that save their pennies make my rainy day

[Chorus]
‘Cause we are living in a material world
And I am a material girl

You know that we are living in a material world
And I am a material girl
Living in a material world
And I am a material girl

You know that we are living in a material world
And I am a material girl
[Interlude]
Living in a material world (-terial)
Living in a material world
Living in a material world (-terial)
Living in a material world

[Verse 3]
Boys may come, and boys may go
And that’s all right, you see
Experience has made me rich, and now they’re after me

[Chorus]
‘Cause everybody’s living in a material world
And I am a material girl

You know that we are living in a material world
And I am a material girl
Living in a material world
And I am a material girl

You know that we are living in a material world
And I am a material girl

[Outro]
A material, a material, a material, a material world
Living in a material world (-terial)
Living in a material world
Living in a material world (-terial)
Living in a material world (uh uh)
Living in a material world (-terial)
Living in a material world
Living in a material world (-terial)
Living in a material world

Thoughts? Please share in the comments!

Missing the Opportunity?

The other day I happened to have a rare half hour of free time and be near a national historic site all dolled up for Christmas, so naturally I popped in to get some holiday cheer.

The tour guide, a retiree aged gal, was happy to tell me all about the place.

Maybe 10 minutes in, a dad and two teens came in. They naturally folded into my not scheduled tour.

The house we were touring has been home to many four and even five star generals in its day.

At one point, the tour guide started to explain how a certain room had once been limited to men over the age of 18.

Then the uncomfortable moment occurred — the two teens were most likely female genetically but expressing as males. (Not that I asked, just a best guess and 40+ years of experience.)

The nervous tour guide focused on the age vs gender limit, but I could tell she was struggling with the proper pronouns.

i thought, why on earth would anyone (these teen possibly genetically girls, for example) decide to identify as white males? Did they not know this is now the one and only demographic it is totally OK to discriminate against?

And  if white males are so terrible, why would anyone choose to identify as such? If they did not have to?

And maybe they just unfortunately were born genetically female but identified as white males despite the current disadvantage.

Anyway we all survived the tour. But I did wonder these things.  Not that it matters really.

What do you think?Please share in the comments!

 

(P.s. I recently read of a study that showed in the 1960s in mice that the birth control pill created marked statistically significant gender confusion in the third generation (grandchildren of females who took the pill) but that the data was suppressed. And we are here now in human generations. Would maybe explain the otherwise inexplainable? I dunno.. discuss… )

 

A Banished Ballad

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The Me Too movement continues to point an accusatory finger, this time at a cheeky and playful holiday song now deemed predatory.  News reports today say many radio stations and public forums are banning it.

Let’s have a look. Probably the best way to access the situation is to click on the video and then read along with the lyrics below:

Baby It’s Cold Outside

I really can’t stay (Baby it’s cold outside)
I gotta go away (Baby it’s cold outside)
This evening has been (Been hoping that you’d dropped in)
So very nice (I’ll hold your hands they’re just like ice)
My mother will start to worry (Beautiful what’s your hurry?)
My father will be pacing the floor (Listen to the fireplace roar)
So really I’d better scurry (Beautiful please don’t hurry)
Well maybe just a half a drink more (I’ll put some records on while I pour)
The neighbors might think (Baby it’s bad out there)
Say what’s in this drink? (No cabs to be had out there)
I wish I knew how (Your eyes are like starlight now)
To break this spell (I’ll take your hat, your hair looks swell) (Why thank you)
I ought to say no, no, no sir (Mind if move in closer?)
At least I’m gonna say that I tried (What’s the sense of hurtin’ my pride?)
I really can’t stay (Baby don’t hold out)
Baby it’s cold outside
Ah, you’re very pushy you know?
I like to think of it as opportunistic
I simply must go (Baby it’s cold outside)
The answer is no (But baby it’s cold outside)
The welcome has been (How lucky that you dropped in)
So nice and warm (Look out the window at that storm)
My sister will be suspicious (Gosh your lips look delicious!)
My brother will be there at the door (Waves upon a tropical shore)
My maiden aunt’s mind is vicious (Gosh your lips are delicious!)
Well maybe just a cigarette more (Never such a blizzard before) (And I don’t even smoke)
I’ve got to get home (Baby you’ll freeze out there)
Say lend me a coat? (It’s up to your knees out there!)
You’ve really been grand, (I feel when I touch your hand)
But don’t you see? (How can you do this thing to me?)
There’s bound to be talk tomorrow (Think of my life long sorrow!)
At least there will be plenty implied (If you caught pneumonia and died!)
I really can’t stay (Get over that old out)
Baby it’s cold
Baby it’s cold outside
Okay fine, just another drink then
That took a lot of convincing!
So what do you think? Is this a flirty and fun song demonstrating plausible deniability?  (Meaning she’s fine with it but she’s playing hard to get so she doesn’t seem too eager) or predatory creep pushing drinks on a poor, innocent, girl who isn’t into it but is trying to let him down gently? A patriarchal plot to teach generation after generation of young men how to trap and molest the ladies, player techniques passed on thru song?
What do do you think? Please share in the comments!

 

The Lost Job

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A meeting with my oldest’s guidance counselor led to an interesting teachable moment afterward.

The meeting was a fairly standard, “What do you want to be when you grow up?” one. Would she go to college? Trade school? Etc.

After the meeting she expressed some valid concerns, including feeling like she wasn’t ready to choose. And to be honest, she is fairly young to make such a decision.

I explained it was just the start of the discussion and that she really has several years to figure it out. There are tests she can take to help her narrow things down by identifying her aptitude’s and interests.

Seeing the opening I dropped in a red pill. “You know when I was your age, there was a really important job option nobody ever talked about.”

”Really?” she asked. “What?”

”The job of taking care of the homefront,” I replied. “Supporting a husband so he could work while the wife took care of all the tasks that help keep life running smoothly like cooking, cleaning, gardening, and childcare.”

I explained when I was her age they told us what a “waste of our potential” staying home and taking care of things would be.

But as she has seen firsthand as the child of a “career mom,” what happens is that stuff either doesn’t get done or gets done on the margins.

I pointed out some people we know who have taken that path, and how well it has worked for themselves and their families. I explained how I often felt I had been sold a half truth, and that had I chosen a different path my life might have been far less stressful, difficult, and overwhelming.

I could tell she liked the idea that maybe she didn’t have to be a career gal like myself. That maybe there was another way.

She said she did want to have an education, and job skills, and to have some work experience, “just in case.” I used her former babysitter as an example of someone who had done just that, and how if her husband ever needed her to take the lead because he was ill or something, she had the education and marketable skills to do so.

It was a really good discussion and one I hope she factors in as she chooses her life path.

Time will tell. But at least she and I are having the discussions I wish someone would have had with me at her age.

What do you think? Please share in the comments!

 

State of the Union

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So just minutes ago, I randomly happened to see a post on Instagram with pink plastic reusable-but-also-disposable cups for — I am assuming — a bachelorette party (???) that say, “Same penis forever.” Along with a diamond engagement ring clip art image.

So naturally I had to write a post.

How depressingly red pill is that? Are the holders of said cups already regretting the end of the Alpha Fux, soon to be beta bux (AF/bb) era? Are the cups being both reusable (for a whole weekend!!!) but disposable a sign of the times?

Is this a healthy and marriage-ready or marriage-worthy sentiment? How long until that same penis gets old? What then?

Or am I just taking a joke and a lighthearted spin on the male version of this sentiment all too seriously?

As one manospherisn might say, (Drink!) And then discuss in the comments!

Be Thankful

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It seems like an apt time of year to ponder gratitude.

True thankfulness is exceedingly rare in today’s entitled “gimmie, gimme NOW” world.

I find it so ironic that in an era where many have more material and physical abundance than perhaps ever before in all of history, it’s much more common to encounter people thinking they need more than to meet those who appreciate all they’ve got.

And since this blog is for the ladies, I will focus on this from the female perspective from here. (Perhaps a male blogger can tackle a version of this topic for the guys.)

For women, who have for decades been raised to believe there are no limits, they can be or do anything they want to be, that they deserve it all, and that they don’t just deserve it they are OWED it, contentment and gratitude can be viewed as negative, limiting, and outdated.

However I would argue it’s only those rare women who cultivate a true gratitude attitude that ever find the seemingly-ever-elusive happiness, fulfillment, balance, peace, and abundance so many desperately seek.

The answer ironically isn’t having more, it’s not just being OK with — but actually being thankful for — less.

Now before you think I am advising gals need to aim low or give up, give me a chance to explain.

Contentment and gratitude for what *is* truly is the secret to ever having enough. Because everything is relative.

For example, for some people an 800 square foot house is “small.” For others a 2,500 square foot house is “small.” Any house could be viewed as too small, too big, or just right based on one’s perception.

I once read a book by a woman who suddenly realized one day that the problem wasn’t that’s her house was too small, it was her attitude toward it that was. Rather than being thankful for and loving the house she had, she resented it for everything it was not, and spent many disgruntled hours wishing to live anywhere but there.

After that “ah ha moment,” she embarked on a year-long quest to love her home with all she had. She lovingly took stock and then went to work making it as beautiful, comfortable, welcoming, and cozy as it could possibly be.

Soon others began to notice her modest little house. Editors from home and garden magazines that she used to read with envy started calling her, asking to feature her home! Then offering her a regular column! Then encouraging her to write books about how she had created her lovely abode.

That’s the difference gratitude makes. It was the same house. She was the same person. All that had changed was rather than wishing for something else she embraced what she had and poured her heart and soul into loving it just as it was while doing all she could to make it all it could be with the resources she had.

In the end embracing gratitude led to so much more than not doing so ever did. She wasn’t settling. Or aiming low. Or giving up. Or getting less.

In fact had she stayed on the path of wanting more, she would likely still be stuck right there, bitterly hating her little house, wishing for something else, thinking, “if only…”

Instead she was loving her house, living a life beyond her wildest dreams, and embracing the ever growing abundance with a humble and thankful heart.

If you find yourself often thinking about what you wish you had, were, missed, or should be, try looking at what you have right now with gratitude, knowing it’s enough, being thankful for exactly what you’ve got, making the most of it, and embracing the blessings that have been right there all along. At home, at work, at play, and in love.

Happy Thanksgiving! May it be a blessed one.

What do you think? Please share in the comments!

Post Red Pill?

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In addition to being very busy, lately I have found myself just not wanting to keep rehashing the same old same old.

Not that I don’t see red pill truisms occur every single day, the outcomes just as sadly predictable as always, or that I deny any of it.

I guess I just want to take the knowledge I have assimilated and now build in a positive direction for me and mine even if the rest carry on as usual.

Its just too depressing to do otherwise. And I can’t do much of anything about any of it except in my own world.

Yeah it’s all messed up and going to hell in a handbasket, but rather than focus on that I find myself wanting to do what I can to create a small little refuge from the storm and quietly appreciate how all I have learned now allows that.

It won’t stop the rest from happening or change the world but at least it can stop happening to me.

Maybe that’s all one can really hope for.

This doesn’t change the fact that I still feel for those who don’t know or don’t want to know, but I can’t do it for them just like nobody could do it for me except myself. I hope someday they too will know and I hope my quietly doing and being different will provide proof that there are other paths, a reassuring calm in the storm.

It’s not denial, it’s not defeat,  it’s acceptance.

What do you think? Please share in the comments!

 

 

Still Here

In case you have been wondering, I am still here! And I plan to continue the blog. It’s a very busy season for me and that’s left little time for writing, or coming up with new topics.

But all is well! I wanted to drop by and say hello quickly, and that I am still around!

Feel free to comment about whatever red pill topics are on your mind. The best stuff is often in the comments anyway!

Carry on…