The Lost Generation

Something I have been pondering a lot lately is this concept of a lost generation.

Thanks to effective birth control, like many women of my generation, I was able to avoid pregnancy young, as I had been urged by my mom and others. They advocated to put off having children as long as possible. “Don’t waste your potential,” they said. “Invest in yourself.” As a result I had my first child at age 33 and my second at age 40.

I was very fortunate both times that I had no trouble conceiving, but I know many friends of my generation who are unable to do so in their 30s even with expensive medical assistance.

I have a 25-year-old helper who works in my business. She’s a go-getter, very enthusiastic, and is not afraid of getting dirty or doing whatever it is that needs done.

Her mom is the same age as I am, but obviously started younger. The more time I spend with her the more I realize I easily could have grown children her age, if I had started having children younger.  And how much I would enjoy it, if so.

When I ponder how much help she is to me and how much help a son her age might also be, I am not sure the advice to put off becoming a mom was so wise. Her young 20s energy is a great fit with my middle of the journey experiences.

Sure I enjoyed my 20’s, travelled, built my career, did things I maybe could not have done with little ones. And yet, was it worth it? Not really. 

When I did finally become a mother I realized I actually enjoyed it quite a bit. Even pregnancy it was not the misery I was expecting it to be, and had been warned that it would be. Perhaps I got lucky there but I never felt so good in my life as when I was expecting my two children.

And don’t get me wrong, I love my kids a lot and they are a source of great joy and are getting more helpful with age. No regrets! Yet I could practically be their grandmother, versus their mother, no matter how young I may look or act for my age.

Although I did not notice it in my youth, I now notice the “missing generation” more with time. I wonder how many others have this same longing later in life, recognizing what could have been that will never be?

There are some who believe every child is a gift, a golden crown. Planned or unplanned, perfect timing or not. The older I get the more clearly I see this is true.

Do not fear or put off having children, would be my advice. Celebrate each and every one! Surround yourself (and your good man!) with them if you can, and raise them up in a happy intact home. Build your tribe!

Sure, you may have to put yourself aside, but the return on that investment simply cannot be matched. To enter midlife and the elder years surrounded by a supportive family unit that you have invested in is gold. Not that this alone as a reason to have a family, but it is a good one!

I feel for my friends who have put careers first and never married or had children and who are seriously regretting that now. They post pictures of their fur babies and try to make it look like everything’s good but I know the sorrow in their hearts. Maybe not all of them, but more that way than not. And by the time that realization came, the ship had sailed.

And of course on top of birth control, there’s a whole other lost generation, the generation lost to Choice. Millions and millions who would never be. Many developed countries are grappling with this loss now.

Perhaps it’s all the unrest we have experienced over the past few months that brings this front and center. I find myself reevaluating what’s important, and looking back on what was important, and what was folly.

As I have written in the past when you were young it feels like life offers many chances. But with age you see every choice is a door opened or closed and there is rarely the opportunity to go back on the path and make different choices. We are all progressing along a linear line that is our life time.

Choose wisely so it adds up to a life well-lived!

What do you think? Please share in the comments!

(p.s. speaking of comments, while there are many worthy topics of discussion today, please try to stay on the topic this blog is about! Thank you!)

Self-Reliance is Freedom

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This recent turn of events seems to have a whole lot of people rethinking things. Like what would happen if suddenly there isn’t what you need at the store. Then what?

Well, then hopefully you already know how to provide some or all of that for yourself, or in the least can come up with some workarounds for what you can’t get.

Like let’s go right for the TMI — toilet paper. What would you do if you can’t find or get toilet paper? Easy! (And you can do this right now to conserve the paper you’ve got.)

Take one or two old towels and cut them up in squares the size of washcloths. It doesn’t need to be exact or perfect. Get a bucket and line it with a plastic grocery sack. If it’s yellow, use a towel to wipe and toss it in the bucket. If it’s brown, use the paper and flush it down. Every day or so, wash the towels on their own with detergent and a splash of bleach. If you are completely out of paper, you can just go full towel. Or you can use old magazines and the like, toss in the trash for the browns. (Don’t flush unless you want to learn how to diy plumbing, not recommended!)  Yep. Problem solved.

But back to the topic, of which the above is just one practical illustration and much better than going out and standing in line at store after store in the middle of a pandemic, possibly exposing yourself or others to a virus, when you could do the towel thing instead. It’s only for a few weeks, folks!

I think one reason for the underlying panic many are feeling (besides the irresponsible fanning of it on any major news station) is they are realizing they have no knowledge or ability to live without the system they have become dependent upon to provide for their needs.

Now would not be a bad time to order one of those self reliance, homestead type books that covers how to do everything from grow and preserve food, to generate power off the grid, to dealing with basic medical care on your own. Sure it is all on the Internet, but what if you did not have access to that for whatever reason? Books never go offline! Plus, it’s interesting stuff!

Even if you live in an apartment there is a lot you can do. I have seen people grow a crazy amount of food in pots. You can even grow sprouts in a jar for fresh eating! Basic knowledge of what plants can be foraged in your area are another source of nutrition if all else fails. Dandelion leaves, for example, are are an excellent source of vitamin A, folate, vitamin K, and vitamin C (in its raw form), and a good source of calcium and potassium.

Self-reliance also comes into play when it comes to protecting you and yours from infection. You don’t have to wait for the government to tell you what to do, all you have to do is understand viruses, how they spread, how to protect yourself, and what to do to boost your immune system in the case you do get sick. There is a LOT you can do, besides just give up and allow the virus to run its course. Like take vitamin C, salt water gargle, saline nasal rinse (neti-pot), zinc lozenges, elderberry gummies or syrup, garlic, raw honey, turmeric… look it up! There are LOTS of ways you can help your body fight back against a virus. Don’t believe, “there is nothing you can do.”

Hopefully in addition to encouraging a return to self-reliance (remember victory gardens?) this pandemic will also bring back into fashion the tried and true traditions of personal and social responsibility. If everybody practiced these, we would not need all this increasing government regulation and intervention.

If we need the government, military, and police to guide our every move and tell us what to do, then we are no longer free. It is from our own handing it over, abdicating personal and social responsibility and holding others responsible, too, that they have turned into the tyrant they have become.

So please, don’t beg the government to make things safe for you or demand they do what you really need to do for yourself. Because every time we do, we all become less and less free.

What do you think? Please share in the comments!

 

 

Flipping Narratives

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Well, who would have guessed a pandemic would get me writing again, but here I am! Glad to see you!

I am on day 15 of strict social distancing, and day 8 of complete just me and the girls lockdown. We don’t plan to go anywhere or see anyone in person for at least another month. If all the models are correct, my area should hit peak cases in about two weeks.

Luckily I am for whatever reason an early adopter, so I noted months ago that this was likely going to happen. I stocked up on food and supplies, figuring we’d be an a lockdown like I was seeing in China at the time, and I did not want to be caught unprepared. We’re stocked to the gills!

A bridge I have not crossed yet but will need to is to ask to skip visitation for one weekend. I think as the cases will be peaking then, and the other side is out in the wild and in rather high risk exposure roles at that, I hope that the reasoning will be obvious. Just one weekend. To be made up later, fair and square. (I would not play games with this.)

So after four or five zero outside contact days of not knowing what to do with myself and obsessively following news articles and researching about the virus, I found myself yesterday wanting to nest.

I have been cooking up a storm as the kids seem happiest when there is food in the works. I suppose on a most basic level, food equals we are still OK. I had for days been gently quieting the agitated folks on my regular social media, trying to be a voice of calm and reason when the rest of the crowd felt one step short of full blown Mad Max. I keep it light, breezy, slip in some red-pillish thoughts served with lots of plausible deniability.

I can only imagine what it must be like to be getting red pilled in a single week. It was hard enough for me over a span of several years. And yet here they are, the blue pill herd, not knowing what to do as the narratives they have clung to are coming crashing down around their ears. It is admittedly a bit much.

So I have been trying to be a helpful guide, saying things like, “It’s not crazy, it’s OK to change your point of view based on life experiences,” when they say they no longer support open boarders or overseas manufacturing or they can’t relate to their usual party holding up their relief check over ridiculous pork projects that can in no way be explained as making sense to be included. I virtually pat their hand.

Who would have though a virus could do so much to expose what we folks in the Red Pill world have been discussing for five plus years.

Yesterday, as I was nesting, I posted a few snapshots of domesticity, joking I was somehow turning into a 50s housewife in less than a week. I expected to get heckled and jazzed.

Instead, within minutes career gals were jumping in and confessing they were also baking bread and nesting and (gasp!) actually enjoying not going to work. I pondered how many of them will decide not to go back to their non-essential jobs.

Now of course that doesn’t solve the other problem Larry G pointed out when I shared this on another blog in the comments. He felt it might be good to let them know that all the good guys are long gone, and part of being a housewife included, well being a wife. And that maybe I should tell these 30+ SIW that the gentlemen have long since left the building. Good luck!

I figured Rome was not built in a day and told him I will share that when they get to the wailing about, “Where are all the good men,” part. For now, maybe best to just let this sink in.

I have long asserted that the SIW narrative is the blue pill flip of the soy boy. Maybe a few weeks in isolation with nothing to do but bake and explore their hobbies might put them in touch better than anything that they had been sold down the slave wage, dead end job river by those telling them staying home would only lead to sadness, abuse, and oppression.

I suppose for now they have the government to play the role of their provider and protector, but finding one of their very own in real life once this blows over may prove more difficult.

Anyway, I laughed when later that day I saw the president serve Ms. Markle a red pill straight up, unrepentant Alpha style. Let’s have a look, shall we?

Trump-Tweet-8

Ouch! Yep, making your own choices is all fun and games until you’re held accountable to them and reality hits. Then a gal realizes she’s played her hand out capitalizing on her sexuality and youth, getting her every whim, thinking it would never end — until just like that it does and and still has decades and decades to go minus a title, crown, or royal privileges. Markle isn’t on her own yet, but if I were a betting gal I give it two years, tops! (Should have looked a little closer at the fates of Fergie and Wallis — not the lap of luxury life either had imagined ahead, I am guessing.)

Anyway, interesting times! What do you think? Please share in the comments!

Strange Times

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Hi everyone just a quick note to say all is well.

As is always the case in summer, I  have been very busy this season and have been otherwise focused on the surreal and strange goings on socially and politically, which has left little time for red pill ponderings

Strange times.

I could not have made up some of the occurances of the past few years and more recently the past few weeks — if I had tried!

Hopefully its all going somewhere that, while messy at the moment, will eventually lead us to more solid ground.

In the meantime buckle up and try to be part of the solution not part of the problems!

On a personal and individual level I am doing good, one day at a time, one step at a time.

When I look back and add up how far things have come since my manosphere discovery days, I’d say while not perfect, I am getting it worlds better than I did before then and life is making much more sense for me and mine.

I hope it is the same for all of you. And that we are all better of for having taken this wild ride together! You’ve each taught me so much and I greatly appreciate each and every one of you!

What do you think of these strange times? Please share in the comments!

Nice Guy Syndrome

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A commenter suggested a really good resource that explains the concept of Nice Guy Syndrome and explains why in the SMP and MMP, nice guys finish last.

Please visit the link above for the whole scoop, but in short (from the website):

“Who is a Nice Guy?

  • He is the relative who lets his wife run the show.
  • He is the friend who will do anything for anybody, but whose own life seems to be in shambles.
  • He is the guy who frustrates his wife because he is so afraid of conflict that nothing ever gets resolved.
  • He is the boss who tells one person what they want to hear, then reverses himself to please someone else.
  • He is the man who lets people walk all over him because he doesn’t want to rock the boat.
  • He is the dependable guy at work who will never say “no,” but would never tell anyone if they were imposing on him.
  • He is the man whose life seems so under control, until BOOM, one day he does something to destroy it all.

Characteristics of Nice Guys

  • Nice guys seek the approval of others.
  • Nice guys try to hide their perceived flaws and mistakes.
  • Nice guys put other people’s needs and wants before their own.
  • Nice guys sacrifice their personal power and often play the role of a victim.
  • Nice guys tend to be disconnected from other men and from their own masculine energy.
  • Nice guys co-create relationships that are less than satisfying.
  • Nice guys create situations in which they do not have very much good sex.
  • Nice guys frequently fail to live up to their full potential.”

 

I think this information could help a lot of guys who have been taught, “Be nice and the girls will like you,” only to find out it does not work that way. Rather than the usual PUA advice, I think this route may work better for guys who don’t want to become a cad, but could use some tips for breaking free of being, “too nice.”

What do you think? Please share in the comments!

 

Update

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Hello again! Its been awhile. Lots and nothing much has happened in the past few months. Still watching the world and looking at things from a red pill perspective, as always.

I have an update on my college friend. Somewhat of a red pill awakening.

As I said back in a previous post, he was in a bad situation, and struggling. To say he was blue pill was putting it mildly. He was the draft horse described in many a manosphere post.

After we had a few red pill conversations and I sent him some of the links many of you kindly shared, I didn’t hear much from him for awhile.

Then one day he reached out, saying he was the frog in the pot of water and the water was just too hot.

He had said once before, after we chatted about not much of anything, that he decided to put the gun away. It was only then that I realized his telling me he felt suicide was the only way out were not exaggerated. He’d literally been sitting there with his gun in the dark. Thank God he reached out, and I happened to be awake. I told him I hoped he’d always put it down and reach out.

Something about his tone this day too was very alarming. It was like he was trying to explain it was all too much, and that he coukdnt take anymore, and he was saying goodbye. Then…nothing.

I panicked, thinking the worst.

I immediately asked my guy what to do? Wait and see or call 911? I didn’t even remember where my froend lived exactly, having only been to his house once back in college. Luckily my guy’s mad research skills soon had the address.

Still no reply from my friend. So I called 911.

The operator took down the info but I was not sure how urgent they took the call. They’d have someone call, she said.

I was supposed to open my biz in less than 15 minutes, but my gut would not be quiet. I am not sure why, but I called my ex.

“I’ll meet you there,” he said without a moment’s hesitation.  Even all those years later he knew exactly where the house was.

He got there before me and knocked but no answer. Finally a woman peeked her head out and quickly shut the door again.

Just after he updated me, the officer called. He was naturally skeptical and I was more than a little glad that he wasn’t going to just take some random gal’s word for it. But after I told him of the situation, and the gun thing before, and said I was on my way there, he said they would go check and to please not approach but let them handle it.

I was beyond relieved to see my friend standing in his driveway talking to two police officers when I arrived, instead of an ambulance.

As I sat waiting, I hoped and prayed I had not overreacted and just ruined his life.

Apparently he agreed to leave with the officers, and as he walked down the driveway he spotted me. I hopped out of the car and he came rushing over to hug me.

I said I was sorry if I caused any trouble and please don’t be mad at me, but I wanted to be sure he was OK. He said he wasn’t mad and thought I did the right thing.

Then he turned around and saw my ex, who had arrived on his Harley. I think he was even happier to see him than me and he rushed to hug him, too. He told us both he wanted to go with the officers, and my ex said he thought that was a good idea and he’d be in touch.

After they pulled away my ex asked me to join him for a bite to eat and talk. I caught him up to speed on what I knew so far, and he agreed better for our friend to divorce than kill himself.

“Divorce sucks but it isn’t the end of the world,” he said. (Surreal!)

He kept his word and followed up, agreeing with me our friend needed men to help him, not a woman, and that I had done as much as I could.

The next weekend they both showed up in their leathers on Harleys. Looking like a happy and motley crew.

Our friend has gotten help for his depression and is on an experimental but new treatment protocol that seems to be working. He’s also seeing a therapist who he said he likes very much. And is hanging out with my ex.

About two weeks ago he texted me out of the blue, “I’m getting a divorce.” He finally told her he couldn’t do it anymore. Done.

As I have always said here, if people can avoid divorce and make their marriage work, I believe they should. But sometimes, they shouldn’t. I think he’s wise to take a break and focus on finding himself. Who knows, maybe in time they will work it out.

I heard from him again yesterday and he was happy to share all he’s been doing. He sounded hopeful. It’s not perfect but it’s a lot better. And he’s not thinking of hurting himself anymore as an answer.

Anyway to be continued, but so far so good!

Its a red pill world folks, and we’ve got to look out for each other.

What do you think? Please share in the comments!

 

Be Solution Oriented

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It’s easy to point out what’s wrong. Anyone can do that. Push beyond…

Be solution oriented.  Figure out how to fix what’s wrong, or if it can’t be fixed how to live with it.

This will put you in the top 20%. And help you fix or accept things. And help others fix or accept things.

Be the solution, not part of (pointing out or part of) the problem.

80% of people can point out (or are part of) the problems already and while they may (or may not) mean well, it’s not solving anything.

Solve it or accept it is what it is. Pointing it out without any solution just frustrates everyone.

What do you think? Please share in the comments!

AWALT: A Cautionary Tale

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(And So my college friend from a few posts back is in for an interesting day tomorrow.

He updated me today that the friend of a friend who was looking to branch swing  (being blue pill this was news to him) that he was sexting on Faceboook but stopped talking to and who he hasn’t responded to for months has friended his wife on FB and is going to have his wife (who does waxing) wax her who-ha tomorrow.

Um, yeah… how cray is that?

He says he DGAF. But knowing the guilt ridden blue pill churchman guy he is, I wonder. I hope if it all melts down he is true to himself. If he is, it may be for the first time in his life.

I did warn him the FB gal has a motive here, and that’s to blow up his life so she can use him as a resource. His wife (who also sounds more cluster B by the moment— she tried to run him over w a car and regularly physically and emotionally abuses him, sadly — I 100% believe his actions are not the way out btw — but I can also see why he would be wide open to this other gal working him) also doesn’t want to lose her resource (He is a union craftsman making $70+ per hour 40 hrs. a week guaranteed whether he works or not, plus bennies and retirement. Who-ha waxing don’t pay that!)

[OT: Plug for young men to consider a union trade — I hear the halls are empty and have jobs unfilled! They will train!]

Anyway, I did implore him to be safe and maybe consider changing the locks and texting his wife he’s done, send someone for her things. Shits hit the fan, go w it. He said that was his thinking, already.

If he’s going to be the villain anyway, may as well go all in. Go big or go home, right? The people who matter will understand and the people that don’t will no longer be part of his life.

They have no kids. But the do have a dog, that she got for him shortly after she tried to run him over w her car. He said maybe they could share custody of the dog. I was like, “AYFKM?!?!” Fuck her. It’s his dog.

Maybe he is a jerk, maybe not. Maybe I am a jerk, maybe not. But being physically abused is a no in my book. Tried to run you over w a car? Ummm, yeah should have filed charges and a restraining order and then for divorce when that perfect out presented itself — but I understand abuse victims (and yes they can be and are male) don’t always see the forest for the trees they are mired in.

Anyway AWALT. Cautionary tale. No woman sextes a guy (married or not) wo expecting something. Much less gives it up in person. She may say no strings but trust me, the strings are there. Always.

Women trade sex for resources. Like it or not. Admit it or not. It’s as old as time. AWALT.

Any woman would be stupid not to, IMHO. Controversial? Yes. Bad advice woman to woman? No. (Not that I am advocating this level of frat but it’s a shit test and a mighty one.)

Red pill men get this — that milk ain’t free. Not even from a professional (but it may be more openly admitted and for a known price… maybe.)

Just know AWALT. Why? Survival. That’s why. It’s baked into the sauce.

What do you think? Please share in the comments.

 

 

 

 

 

Can You Avoid The Wall?

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There’s a concept in the manosphere called, “the wall.” It’s basically defined as the point where a woman’s youth and beauty (and the powerful sway they had) have peaked and are diminishing.

At what age this happens can vary on a multitude of factors. For some women it happens early in life. (Think the former beauty nobody recognizes at her ten year class reunion.) For others, and less often, it comes late in the game. In some cases it can be a sudden change, in others a gradual slide.

Chances are no women completely avoids the wall (I wonder what Christy Brinkley looks like in person, minus the airbrushing?) but there are factors that can if not avoid it, soften the impact.

1. Genetics

Some people just age more slowly and/or better than others. This is why men often joke before marrying a girl, it’s good to take a long hard look at her mom to see what she may look like in 20+ years.  One can’t do much to change genetics except know the likely issues (tendency toward weight gain, wrinkle prone skin, etc.) and take steps to offset them.

2. Lifestyle

A gal I know who was absolutely stunning at 18 had destroyed her looks and appeal before she was 26 with a lifestyle of heavy drinking, drug use, and a party lifestyle. She seemed to age 5 years for every one. Sadly even after she cleaned up, the damage was done and she remains a shadow of her former self. Tanning, tobacco use, and other age-accelerating lifestyle choices can speed the pace toward the wall, while good habits established early in life can forestall it.

3. Attitude

I know women who are still the center of attention well past “the wall.” Even young men are captivated by them, perhaps not as potential romantic partners but their draw is unmistakable and not solely attributed to their physical appearance. They often share a good attitude — they are charming, man-friendly, bubbly, and seem to shine from within.

4. Character

Another quality such women seem to share is they have character — their identity and worth are not based solely on their physical appearance but on their personality, wit, skills, and integrity. They are much more than a pretty face or nice figure, and have other valued or desirable qualities that aren’t diminished by time and age.

5. Feminimity

Women who lean toward the feminine often weather “the wall” better than those who don’t. Kindness, meekness, gentleness, grace, modesty, goodness, manners, self-control, beauty, charm, and poise are attractive qualities in a woman of any age.  Often men describe such women as, “true ladies.” They are so rare in a crass and base world that they stand out, even when they aren’t trying to.

6. The “It” Factor

Women who remain very appealing long after youth and beauty fade have an elusive “it” factor that is very hard to describe. Men are drawn to them. Men fawn over them. Men seek them out in a crowded room. Men notice them. Men remember them fondly. Men enjoy their company. These are the type of women men just can’t seem to resist, and while there may be an underlying admiration or attraction, it’s not simply or solely sex appeal. Often the connection is completely platonic, almost idealistic. They simply like her and like being around her. Men feel lifted up after interacting with her, as if refreshed and rejuvenated from the weight of the world.   Such a woman brings out his best and highest masculine qualities, makes him want to be a better man, inspires him to build, create, do, and be all he can. When the draw is romantic, fortunes, empires, legends, monuments, and masterpieces have been made or built because of and for such women.

What do you think? Do you know or have you ever met a woman who seems to avoid the wall? Please share in the comments.

(p.s. this article does not mean to deny the wall or even say women who weather it well have the same appeal in middle age and beyond as they did in youth. It’s just something I see now and again, certainly not often, and so I wanted to write about it to encourage women to try and be a woman like that. While some of it is luck, much of it can also be cultivated.)