The Girl and Boy Games Start Early

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If you have every been around preschool or grade school aged kids, you may have noticed the girl and boy games start early. My youngest, now in grade school, recently encountered one of the trickiest girl games, and I have to say she handled it like a champ.

There is a boy in her class who right from day one declared he thought she was the bee’s knees. And beautiful. And that he loved her. And wanted to marry her. The kid is “a natural,” clean cut and good looking. He’s got game already!

Every day after that he waited for her to arrive. I walked her to class the first few weeks, so I go to witness his face light up at the sight of her, watch him rush over, say, “Hi” and then the compliments would begin.

Then he started to “kiss” her. He was savvy enough to know that rather than actually try to kiss her, he would make a little “beak” like with his fingers and peck her on the cheek.

“Momma, why does he do and say all that?” she’d ask me after giving her daily report.

Now before the manosphere perhaps I would have overreacted, read something sinister into it, worry that he would hurt my little girl. But thanks to the guys around here, I knew by then that nope, he was just a sweet little boy with a crush. So I told her just that, and said to be nice to him, and take it as a compliment, then say to him, “My mom says I am too young for all this.”

I was also tempted to ask him what his career goals were, or to see how many camels, sheep, and goats his family might have to offer. (Kidding!)

Now that’s not the tricky part, although navigating girl-and-boy games can be tricky indeed. No, the tricky part was that her friends who were girls started to get jealous and to wish this boy was crushing on them instead. They started to chase him at recess, and try to win his affections away.

But he didn’t waver. He had made his decision. I thought that was very touching, and that it showed him to be of good character rather than a gadabout. (I am a momma bear, after all.)

After a few days when I asked her how she handled it, the girl games, she said matter of fact, “I told them it is not my fault he likes me. And that they didn’t need to get him to like them, they just needed to find their own love of their life. And that he was out there. Somewhere.” The girls accepted this, and all remained friends.

Lol. Out of the mouth of babes! She’s spunky, that one!

If these two actually do end up getting married, I will for sure be writing a country song about all this.

Is the Red Pill Going Mainstream?

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More and more often I am hearing red pill type thinking from people in real life who I am pretty positive have never heard of the red pill or visited the manosphere. And I mean so many times in the past few weeks versus the past few years that I can’t write it off as just coincidence.

The interesting thing is they seem to be of various ages and demographics, both male and female.

I am not sure if these people have always secretly thought this way, and the results of the recent election have allowed them to feel they can speak more freely, or if the red pill is somehow going mainstream and people outside of this little corner of the Internet are somehow picking red pill concepts up?

In any case I find it very encouraging. I hope it leads us from where we are now to something that is more positive and works better for men, women, and children alike.

I am curious…has anyone else noticed the same?

(We touched on this in the comments of yesterday’s post, but I thought it might be good to expand on that and the “Overton Window shifting” idea…)

The Downside of the Red Pill

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When I discovered the red pill, it felt like my eyes were opened and suddenly it clicked why everything had never made sense or worked as planned, before.

I made huge changes in my life and mindset over the next several years. I read all I could about relationships and dynamics between men and women based on the red pill. I learned a great deal and what I learned has greatly improved my life.

So what’s the downside?

The downside of the red pill, or one of them anyway, is that once one realizes it, you go through a stages of grief almost as you process that everything you have ever been told about how the world works, doesn’t.

Denial. Anger. Bargaining. Depression. And finally, acceptance.

I realized I had been sold an experimental life script. I and those of my generation and those after were unwitting guinea pigs in perhaps the largest social experiment ever. And that much of the pain and failure I had experienced in relationships and life, was because of that. And that I would never get that time or those opportunities back. And that I didn’t even know how to do things different. And that there were few places, if any, to learn how. I had to move forward without a map or much support in society for my quest.

Wow. Wow. Wow.

That ALL SUCKS BIG TIME.

Yeah, it almost seems easier not to face all of that truth. Many people won’t even peek under the lid of life because facing such things is not for the feint of heart.

But what you have seen cannot be unseen. And the only choice is to move forward the best you can. And while it is not always easy, isn’t that better than continuing to work a broken script?

If nothing else, one can use the information make the most of the life they have left and to try and leave the world a better place for the generations to come by sharing what was learned with others in hopes to help them avoid the same.

The older I get, the more and more I can see we only have limited days on this earth. The past is done, the future unwritten, but we do have this — the now to seize.  Reality is what one makes it. You are the author of your fate.

And knowing that is ironically a major upside of the red pill.

Are Women Being Raised to Fail?

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Something I realized very quickly after discovering the red pill was that myself and most women (and men) born in after the late 1960s in America have basically been raised to fail in life and love.

Now I am not saying it was intentional. I really do think at least some people thought changing the social contract between men and women was going to be a step forward. Progress. Better. Utopia, even.

Of course others involved in the movement did so because for whatever reason the old social contract wasn’t working for them. Maybe they were trapped in a bad marriage. Maybe they had been abused. Maybe they were not attracted to or interested in men. But something all these women who started the feminist movement had in common is they were not happily and successfully relating with men, and so were they really in the best position to advise women how to fix that?

Pretty much all the advice I got growing up from multiple sources about how to be a happy, strong, successful woman turned out to have done more harm than good in my life and relationships. And as I look around at the other “modern” women I know, they too are experiencing the same.  Relationships not working. Priorities out of wack. Lack of balance. Workaholism. Unhappiness. Frazzled. Families falling apart. Dysfunction. Depression. Anxiety. Confusion. Etc.

My theory is that this is the blue pill version for females. Men were sold the “Be nicer. Be more sensitive. Be more like a woman,” line at the same time women were being told, “Be tough, be outspoken, be more like a man.”

Simultaneously, women were also being warned that men were the enemy, that they couldn’t be trusted, that they needed to always be financially independent of men because of that, and that they always needed to be on guard against them.

It wasn’t until I saw my babysitter living a truly traditional life that I actually saw how the old social contract worked, and worked pretty well. (You can read about her in more detail here.)

She’s always happy. She loves her life. She loves her husband. Her husband loves her. Their kids are happy and well behaved. She’s gracious and feminine and mild. And rather than treat her like a doormat, he cherishes her for it. She oversees the home and children sphere, he brings home the bacon. Of all the marriages I have seen, theirs has the least amount of discord or unhappiness of all. It works. It works really well, actually.

It’s something to ponder for sure, whether these social changes of the past 40 years have actually made life better for women. And men. And children. Or are things worse?

What do you think?

 

 

 

A Good Question

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Reader Mega recently questioned if he should continue to date a woman who he gets along with in every way except ideologically?

Apparently the recent election brought things to a head, with him on one side and her on another. As the discussions continued, the divide chafed more and more.

From what I have seen opposites may attract, but over time seeing the world from opposing viewpoints can lead to increasing strife, which is a lot harder to live with long term than increasing harmony.

He wondered if it was possible perhaps she would change her point of view with time? It’s a big “if.”

Now I do believe people can and do change their point of view, as I certainly did upon discovering the red pill, but usually people have to do so on their own. It’s not something you can really talk someone else into.

In the long run I would say it is easier to be with someone who shares your worldview, than opposes it. Especially if they can’t agree to disagree.

After all, isn’t life complicated enough? Yes. Yes it is.

As one man explained it to me once, ladies, men spend their whole lives scrapping with each other in the public sphere — for jobs, for status, for recognition, for respect, for territory, for everything basically. The last thing a guy wants to do is retreat into his private world and encounter strife or competition there as well. No. A man wants and needs his woman to be a soft place to land.

If I were a betting gal, chances are Mega’s 50-some-year-old girlfriend will soon be on her own once again. Perhaps,  it will be a moment of awakening. Perhaps not.

But the chances of a cantankerous 50-some-year-old woman finding someone willing to put up with such behavior for long are slim. Really, it’s not “attractive” to most men to be in a constant debate with a partner. Perhaps, she should think about it before it is too late. Maybe better for her to  just drop it, even if she doesn’t change her point of view, rather than continue the verbal sparring?

 

Are You Falling for the Bait?

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Something supporters of making America great again should beware is falling for the bait.

By falling for the bait, I mean acting exactly like the other camp and the media wants so they can use that in their ongoing smear campaign.

Trust me, they would love nothing more than to publish quotes from people mouthing off or to publish photos of people acting like haters or facists. It backs up their narrative. Just don’t. Encourage others to avoid doing the same.

Don’t give them what they want. Let the other side continue to rant and rave and end up in the news for their ridiculousness.

Better to say nothing than to say exactly what they want. Or even to say something they can twist into exactly what they want. And trust me, if they can, they will.

Stoic and steadfast silence is a form of free speech, and there are times when it can say as much or more than a million words.

Two Can Play That Game

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Today I needed something to lighten my mood and sure enough I found it on Twitter.

A guy who I somehow stumbled across during the election stuff keeps getting banned, then keeps reappearing under yet another account, and another, and another. I believe he’s on his 16th account now.

For one thing he’s a real smart alec, and has a wicked dry sense of humor, but it seems what he says while exercising his right to free speech just has too much uncomfortable truth to it, so he keeps getting reported by SJW types because he’s “triggering” them.

As far as I have seen, he actually hasn’t said anything that remotely crosses the line of being ban-worthy. And yet he keeps getting banned, and he keeps coming back.

He now has followers (including me) who search for him every time he vanishes, so they can start following the new account. It’s hard not to cheer the guy on for just not giving up on speaking his truth.

Anyway, as if that isn’t entertaining enough (if you have a sick dry sense of humor combined with random insomnia like I do, anyway) today he decided “if you can’t beat them, join them!” And now he is reporting to Twitter every time a SJW says something that he disagrees with.

Oh the irony!

And there’s a stroke of brilliance to it, as well. When people try to discredit anyone who doesn’t think like they do with terms like, “hater” or “intolerant” or “misogynist” or “racist” or “sexist” or “whatever-ist,” why not just turn the same back, cry “victim” but louder? It’s just too easy! Why not add a bit of the hissy fit hysterical to it, just for laughs?

And watch the melt downs begin.

I like how this guy thinks!

In addition, he warns those standing up to SJW’s not to play the game too simply, for example by acting MORE of whatever they are accusing you of just to make them mad. Instead, turn their game back on them, play as he puts it,  a 12D chess game rather than a 2D one.

(Note: I’d link to his account, but it keeps changing. If you have been following the election stuff on Twitter, you’ve likely run across his antics by now and know who I mean. May he never give up the good fight!)

xis2en99

America Then and Now

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On Veteran’s Day weekend, I put my Pandora station on “patriotic songs” for a change of pace and while listening it really hit home how much things have changed in American discourse between then and now.

They were classic songs we’ve all likely heard many, many times. But as I listened it really struck me how by today’s standards, many of the songs would be considered “not politically correct.”

Isn’t it ironic that these same songs that once described the basic ideals our country was founded upon, described who we were as a nation, would now likely be considered by many to be offensive? Unacceptable? Need trigger warnings?

There is something very wrong with that. Isn’t there? Because if that’s not who we are anymore, then who are we?

 

 

 

 

Left and Right

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Why are politics moving so far to the right? Because they simply went way, way, way too far to the left.

For some reason I am not seeing this explanation in news coverage of the election outcome. Instead, it is as if people are surprised, asking, “How did this happen?”

For example, when government goes so far to accommodate the bathroom preferences of the few, that they ignore the bathroom preferences of 97% of people, this happens.

 

While they may not see it, the left has increasingly lobbied for the rights of smaller and smaller groups over the past few decades, to the point that they were no longer representing the needs, wants, or social norms held by (even the moderates of) the much larger group.

When this happens, there is always a backlash. If the right goes too far hard right, the same will happen in the other direction.

Here’s an idea: Government could aim back more toward the middle of the bell curve rather than continuing to focus on the ever diminishing fringes.

A little bit for everyone works a lot better than a whole lot for a very few.

Marie Antoinette’s story, and many others in history, illustrates this. Once things get that polarized, there is no fixing it.

That’s how these things, and worse things, happen.

 

Remember Y2K?

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Maybe or maybe you don’t remember Y2K, but that was the date that all the computers were supposed to freak out and the world was going to come to a crashing end.

It’s complicated but in a nutshell, when computer programmers were setting things up, shortsightedly they only left two spots for the year instead of four. Supposedly this was bad, bad, bad. Because 2000 and on, how would they record that? Ooops!

Lots of money was spent. They must have figured things out because well, it never happened.

Kinda like the other day, huge dire predictions, and now look at us — still here!

I wonder when the next end of the end will be? Anybody want to take a guess?

(Bonus question: Can anyone explain HOW they fixed Y2K ? I am curious…)